OF THE OUTSIDE
Within my Sicilian heritage there lives a direct line of ancestry to a group of witches. Known as the doñas de fuera. Named during the Spanish Inquisition, the Ladies of the Outside were said to be part fairy and part witch, possessing supernatural powers. Legend goes, at night the ladies would gather by a walnut tree in the woods at the edge of a Sicilian island to exit their bodies, cast spells and communicate with the beyond. The Ladies of the Outside were persecuted by the Spanish during the Sicily witch trials, yet they were not sentenced to death as fairy folklore was popular during the 16th and 17th century in Sicily and the doñas de fuera were judged more by their beauty and connection to nature than supernatural abilities.
Such began my genetic predilection to be a lady who exists on the outside of something.
My daughter too is a Lady of the Outside. Not in communicating with nature, or living as part fairy (not yet at least), but as a woman who lives on the fringe, goes her own way, and isn’t seduced by the security of a system.
I don’t write about being a homeschool mom very much, as it is not my story to tell. My daughter took sovereignty over her education at age 9 when she proclaimed she would not be returning to in person classes when school resumed after the pandemic lockdown. As a family we sat with this decision for a while and her stance never wavered. She knew what she wanted and it wasn’t happening within the system of school.
This decision on its own is small compared to the effort it takes to exist outside of a system. Personally, I had to make a lot of decisions about motherhood, my commitment as a parent, what I was capable of doing in terms of my profession combined with sitting in for the work of an entire system. School, socialization, exercise - all the things a school system provides or is supposed to provide in terms of the village it takes to raise a healthy well adjusted child. These things were now up to me. Up to my daughter and I. We became a village.
Soon enough, we found a place for other outsiders. An independent charter school that allowed my daughter to create her own schedule, take classes at any grade level she chose and supplement with online classes at a number of institutions. Mostly though, my daughter skateboarded. Two plus years were spent on a skateboard and a bit of school in between. She traveled weekly to skate with coaches all over the Bay Area, skate different parks and indoor facilities, and learn the sport.
Mostly though, I watched her find herself on that board. Every single day. She found a village and then we all became a part of it.
This village helped my daughter find herself but it also saved me. These soft, gentle, mostly men, with bruised shins and broken bones became my fellow Ladies of the Outside. They too knew what it was like to exist on the fringe. Both in life, in sport, and in school. They offered unwavering support to my daughter about her path and her choice, and allowed me to rest within their walls of wild acceptance.
Living outside of a system is threatening. People don’t like to witness it. Mostly because it forces them to question their own choices. And pretty much opting out of school for a few years as my daughter did is a possibility that makes people really uncomfortable and not only question their choices but confront them. What if school is not school as we know it? What if there is something else? What if school is not what’s best?
My daughter with her village of bruised skating Ladies of the Outside maneuvered around handling most of this threatened energy. But I did not. I’m the mom. And I am to be judged by the successes and failures of this adventure. And judged harshly.
I was approached by the usual curiosities, and these felt okay. These curiosities were less about how we were surviving, but more about the decision to stay within a system by whoever was asking. Questions about how does it all work? How does she learn? How does she make friends? How will she ever go to college if she skateboarded for a few years? All arriving with a worried look designed to make a Lady of the Inside question her own resoluteness and also the decisions of her daughter.
But I’m of the Outside.
Last summer we reached a place when my daughter wanted more from school. More challenges, harder work. She was ready to go further. So I began to dip a toe back into a system to see what was there.
And it was gnarly.
In looking for a school or an educational experience that would be a good match for her for “8th grade” I talked with educational consultants, advisors, educational psychologists and a variety of other professionals. Some of them colleagues. Most had the same questions as the curious folks, except they were more punishing. “Well, your daughter has been off track for a few years. How will she know how to take a test? What about grades? What is her reading level? Does she even expect to go to college? She cannot just start from here.”
I was met with resistance from professionals who would not offer their services because they didn’t think they could “get a student like her” into a school that they thought was “exceptional.” We were denied help at the hands of people in order to keep their own admittance numbers and reputations high. And that’s okay I get it.
Yet, the communication was clear. You went outside. We will not help you get back in.
I did finally find someone to help me organize and determine what paperwork we needed to gather, essays, recommendations, all the things. It took some time, but we found another Lady of the Outside who provided some direction.
What happened next is my daughter’s story. It is hers to tell. But I share parts of it in support of others who know like she did with such certainty that there is not just one way. That you can build your own system and walk your own path. And if you are a parent to one of these kids, don’t be afraid to trust them. You know it in your gut what is working and what isn't. Don't be afraid. They just might know what they are doing.
My daughter will begin 8th grade in the fall at her first school of choice. An accomplishment that on paper is extended to very few students around the world. She is proud of that. Excited and also amused that she got there mostly skateboarding.
Full transparency, none of this has been easy. It is difficult to leave a system by design. It was the harder choice, but also the right one.
By making the harder choice she allowed herself to discover the glory in a number of years that were otherwise awful for so many. She fully stepped in those years to learn about herself, discover herself, and find a group of Ladies of all kinds that helped her through. Those years will most likely not present themselves again. The offer given to stand at the precipice and instead of turning around to reenter the familiar, to jump alone and not know where she was going to land. To know when she wanted more, and to have advocated for that. She never knew the risk of her choice. The insecurity of stepping outside a system. The punishment for unjoining the group. She only knew what felt right.
If you are a Lady of the Outside, are raising a Lady of the Outside, I see you. It’s hard. I know. But don’t be afraid. Just keep going.
I’ll meet you under the walnut tree.
xxx
LAS
SOLAR TRANSIT
4-22-24
Gate 27
The Gate of Caring
On April 22 the sun transits Gate 27 the Gate of Caring. During this celestial transit, you are presented with a unique opportunity for profound introspection and self-discovery. Gate 27 invites the opportunity to contemplate your boundaries. Whether you can allow yourself to be open to care and love while maintaining a sustainable and aligned capacity.
Can you love and be attentive while still loving yourself and tending to your own care and needs? This is an ideal time to reflect on your motivations for showing up. Think about whether you are present with others out of authentic desire, or if you are creating boundaries out of guilt. Understanding your Energy Type, Strategy, and Authority is really helpful when contemplating boundaries and presence.
Human Design Gate 27 embodies the delicate balance between self-nurturance and caring for others. This gate illuminates the path towards nurturing healthy relationships by assuming responsibility for one's values, needs, beliefs, thoughts, feelings, and actions.
At its core, Gate 27 radiates an abundance of energy directed towards the compassionate care of others, particularly those who are ill, young, or in need. However, it's vital to recognize that Gate 27 can sometimes lead individuals to shoulder undue responsibility for the needs of others. This inclination towards self-sacrifice often stems from a deep-seated desire to validate one's worthiness of safety, love, belonging, and support.
To elevate the vibrational frequency of Gate 27, it's imperative to prioritize and honor your own needs. Beyond the essentials like food, shelter, and water, attending to your emotional, mental, and spiritual well-being is paramount. Your unique Human Design blueprint serves as a compass, revealing these fundamental needs and guiding you towards establishing healthy boundaries, utilizing appropriate tools, and integrating supportive practices. By embracing and respecting your own needs, you cultivate a stronger foundation from which to authentically care for others while maintaining equilibrium in your relationships.
Here are some journaling prompts to deepen your understanding and engagement with this transit:
1. Reflect on a recent interaction where you felt torn between caring for others and attending to your own needs. What emotions and thoughts arose during this experience?
2. Consider a time when you set boundaries out of guilt rather than genuine desire. How did this impact your relationships and well-being?
3. Explore your Energy Type, Strategy, and Authority in the context of setting boundaries and being present with others. How can understanding these aspects of your Human Design empower you in navigating relationships?
4. Envision an ideal scenario where you effortlessly balance caring for others and prioritizing self-care. What steps can you take to manifest this equilibrium in your daily life?
As the sun transits Gate 27, the Gate of Caring, you're urged to deeply reflect on the balance between nurturing others and prioritizing self-care. This celestial alignment encourages you to examine whether your care for others stems from authentic desire or obligation, and to understand how honoring your own needs is key to fostering healthy relationships.
NEW PROMPT!!
Do you know about Tapping? It can be an effective addition to energy work and nervous system regulation. Many of my Mentorship clients include Tapping as part of their daily ritual. You can learn more about Tapping and how to do it by hitting the button below.
EFT - Emotional Freedom Technique Tapping Prompt for this transit.
“Even though it is hard to say no, I choose to release my guilt and act in ways that are correct for me, and I deeply and completely love and accept myself.”
Have a great week exploring this transit! Ready to learn more about your Human Design? Hit the buttons below to schedule a reading with me and download the free Human Design information sheets to learn more!
FULL MOON
4-23-24
Gate 28
Gate of the Game Keeper
Scorpio
The potent energy of the Full Moon beckons us to delve into self-discovery, urging us to identify and release aspects of our lives that no longer align with our intentions. This Full Moon in Scorpio, the fixed water sign sits in the 8th House illuminating themes of transformation, personal power, and shared resources. Here, we are called to explore the depths of our psyche, facing our fears and embracing the process of death and rebirth.
Ruled by Mars and Pluto Ruled by both Mars and Pluto, Scorpio embodies the qualities of the investigator, the phoenix, and the psychologist, inviting us to confront our deepest desires and unravel the mysteries of our innermost selves. Paired with Gate 28, the Gate of the Game Player, this Full Moon is an opportune time to reflect upon how you confront your fears, transforming them into valuable allies as you navigate the complexities of life. Instead of succumbing to challenges and adversity, this transit encourages you to approach life's ups and downs as an exciting adventure, akin to a game.
This Full Moon is a powerful time to dive deep into your internal world, reflecting on your fears, and how you can use them to transform what no longer serves you into expansion.
Here are some journaling prompts to deepen your understanding and engagement with this Full Moon:
1. Reflect on a fear or challenge that has been holding you back recently. How might you embrace it as an opportunity for growth and transformation during this Full Moon in Scorpio?
2. Explore the concept of personal power and shared resources in your life. Are there areas where you can assert yourself more confidently or collaborate more effectively with others?
3. Consider the symbolism of the phoenix and its theme of death and rebirth. What aspects of your life are ready to be released and renewed during this potent lunar phase
4. Connect with the energy of Gate 28, the Game Player. How can you adopt a more playful and adventurous mindset towards life's challenges, viewing them as opportunities for growth and learning rather than obstacles to overcome?
SOLAR TRANSIT
4-27-24
Gate 24
Gate of Rationalization
On April 27, the sun gracefully traverses Gate 24, known as the Gate of Rationalization. During this celestial transit, you're invited to embark on a deeply introspective voyage of self-discovery. This celestial transit encourages a deep exploration of your inner realm, focusing particularly on a profound reverence for the wisdom found in silence and the art of discernment.
Gate 24 illuminates the sacredness of pauses as moments of potential, wherein inspiration and transformation exist in the delicate space between giving and receiving.
Yet, when Gate 24's energy veers from harmony, it may recoil from silence, seeking solace in buffering or filling the void with noise. This discordance leads to self-criticism and feelings of inadequacy, particularly when revisiting ideas repeatedly before they resonate. Struggling to find equilibrium between giving and receiving becomes a constant challenge.
To experience the expansive energy of Gate 24, embrace the sanctity of silence, particularly during periods of mental unrest. Immersion in your own energy becomes paramount as an opportunity to luxuriate in the discomfort of uncertainty, and to seek insights from the depths of not knowing. Ritual may be comforting during this transit as grounding yourself in the steady known can open up receivership to patience and acceptance of the gifts of the unknown.
Here are some journaling prompts to deepen your understanding and engagement with this transit:
1. Reflect on a recent moment when you found solace in silence. What insights or inspirations arose during that time of stillness?
2. Explore any tendencies you may have to avoid silence or fill it with noise. What underlying emotions or beliefs might be driving this behavior?
3. Consider a situation where you struggled to find balance between giving and receiving. How can you cultivate a greater sense of equilibrium in your interactions and relationships?
4. Imagine yourself immersed in a moment of pure stillness and uncertainty. How can you embrace this discomfort as an opportunity for growth and self-discovery during the transit of Gate 24?
As the sun gracefully journeys through Gate 24, beckoning us to explore the realms of rationalization and silence, we are reminded of the profound wisdom found in the pauses of life. Embracing the sanctity of stillness amidst the cacophony of existence, we unlock the potential for inspiration and transformation to flourish in the delicate space between giving and receiving. Let us honor this celestial transit by delving deep into our inner realms, cultivating patience, acceptance, and a deep reverence for the mysteries that unfold in the silence.
NEW PROMPT!!
Do you know about Tapping? It can be an effective addition to energy work and nervous system regulation. Many of my Mentorship clients include Tapping as part of their daily ritual. You can learn more about Tapping and how to do it by hitting the button below.
EFT - Emotional Freedom Technique Tapping Prompt for this transit.
“Even though it is scary to sit in the unknown, I now choose to be patient with myself and the discomfort in order to receive the gifts that uncertainty brings and I deeply and completely love and accept myself.”
Have a great week exploring this transit! Ready to learn more about your Human Design? Hit the buttons below to schedule a reading with me and download the free Human Design information sheets to learn more!
Q + A
Welcome to my exciting monthly feature: Q + A! I'm absolutely thrilled to be diving into your thought-provoking inquiries about Human Design, Astrology, creativity, and Energy Work. Your curiosity fuels my passion for sharing knowledge, and the process of answering your questions continually enriches my own understanding.
Consider this space a welcoming sanctuary for curiosity, self-discovery, and expanding your horizons. Here, you can explore the intricate world of Human Design, Astrology, and Energy Work, and discover how they can profoundly influence your creativity and success as a creative professional. It's a journey of enlightenment and empowerment, and I can't wait to embark on it with you.
Don't hesitate to send your questions my way by simply clicking the button below. I'll be selecting one or two to address in the upcoming first newsletter of each month. Your inquiries drive the conversation, and I'm eager to provide you with insightful answers.
Q: What are the Gene Keys?
This is a great question!
The Gene Keys, transcribed by Richard Rudd, offer a profound framework for personal and spiritual development deeply rooted in the expanded wisdom of Human Design - the I Ching, astrology, and contemporary genetics. I like to think of the Gene Keys as a contemplative guide, moving us from one theme of human existence to another.
The Gene Keys system explores the 64 archetypal themes or "keys" that underlie human consciousness and potential. Each key represents a specific aspect of human experience, ranging from the mundane to the transcendent, and offers insights into how individuals can unlock their gifts and transform challenges into sources of growth and wisdom.
For creatives, the Gene Keys provide a rich tapestry of inspiration and guidance. By delving into the keys corresponding to your Human Design, you’ll uncover the unique patterns and potentials encoded in your genetic makeup. This exploration invites an embracing of your inherent strengths and talents while also acknowledging and transmuting shadow aspects that may be holding you back.
The Gene Keys offer a holistic perspective on the creative process, emphasizing the interconnectedness of creativity, spirituality, and personal growth. By aligning with the highest expressions of your creative potential, you can cultivate a deeper sense of purpose and authenticity in artistic endeavors. This alignment not only enhances the quality of creative output but also fosters a greater sense of fulfillment and meaning.
Seeking guidance from the Gene Keys can be confusing! Much like Human Design the language can be very gatekeeper and it can be a challenge to integrate guidance from the Gene Keys with your Human Design. The best place to start with understanding the Gene Keys is with your Sun Gates in your Design. For guidance on integrating Gene Keys into your contemplations, please reach out! I’m happy to help get you started. I also recommend listening to this episode of Tetragrammaton with Rick Rubin and Richard Rudd.
For more insights on integrating Human Design into your marketing strategy, book a Reading to explore possibilities together.
Stay tuned for an upcoming Q&A session in a few weeks. Please send in your questions, and feel free to reach out by clicking the button below. I'm eagerly anticipating guiding you further on this fascinating journey!
