Receivership

Alchemy 5-15-2022

Concluding a 12 year life chapter is humbling. As the weeks progress I've had many feelings about my life and time at Zelma Rose. Mostly all good, coupled by some disorienting realizations, and lots of relief. I'm being patient with the unfolding and working very hard at not sprinting off to the next adventure. I'm historically terrible at doing this, I'm a super excitable person and stillness does not come easy to me.  So I am practicing it and failing a lot. 

On a recent and wild dive into the world of Human Design, I came upon the idea of receivership. Energetically speaking, there are two modes of being. Output and input. And the two cannot happen at the same time. Even machines like automobiles, which seem to be in output and input simultaneously, actually switch quite quickly from one to the other to provide momentum.  The idea of receivership illuminates the importance of rest as allowing space and time for input after output. 

I'll be honest here, I LOVE output. It is kind of my jam and for better or worse a big part of my personality. I generate. Ideas, things, opportunities, connections. The idea of being in receivership feels really hard for me to get my head around. But approaching it from a place of energetics fostered a bit of illumination. I'm always in output mode. Which means, I'm never allowing for input. And that's leaving an awful lot of potential on the table. And that loss of potential made me kind of sad. I love potential! It's exciting and surprising and feels like a theme park ride. 

So I'm trying on the act of receivership right now. I'm challenging myself to see how little I can be in output mode and inviting myself to be in receivership more than is comfortable. And it's been a struggle! But not any more of a struggle than any other mode of operation I have guinea pigged myself for. I thought I'd share some of the things I have been enjoying while in receivership - which is hilarious because it means I am creating output from input. But small baby steps, right? Nevertheless, here's what I've been up to in my practice of rest.

1. OZARK

Full disclosure, I've had a crush on Jason Bateman since his leading roll in the 1988 made for TV movie, Moving Target. It has been a total joy to witness him sink fully into his craft as an actor and director - did you know he became the Directors Guild of America's youngest ever director at age 18 when he directed a series of episodes for the television show The Hogan Family? Interesting Bateman facts aside, I love this show Ozark and all its allowance for the complexity of the human condition. Everyone is all the things. In violence and love and connection. 

    2. UNTIL THE WHEELS FALL OFF

I promise you when I say no one is more surprised than me that I found skateboarding. For better or worse, it took a pandemic and turning 46 to get me to try the curious piece of plywood balanced on four wobbly wheels I had been enjoying from the sidelines most of my life. It never occurred to me that skateboarding could be for me. That I somehow belonged here, but it is and I do and this belonging continues to be a prominent joy in my life. Nowhere am I in receivership more than on a skateboard. Mostly because I cannot DO on a skateboard, I can only BE. And this is a very good practice for someone obsessed with output. 

I've always been fascinated by Tony Hawk, but never more than I have been watching him recover from what might very well be a career ending injury. Fear is an unrelenting presence in skateboarding. No one is ever not scared. But we do it anyway. The stakes are high, but so is the joy. Being witness to Tony's fear, persistence, doubt, commitment, and humility as he gets back on the board is an experience of grace. It's beautiful and vulnerable and super inspiring. Until the Wheels Fall Off offers a look into this life and accomplishments but mostly is just a beautiful visual representation of the sport that continues to take my by surprise. If you don't think you have anything in common with skateboarding, I invite you to watch and consider that maybe we all belong here. I talk skateboarding and humility with this week's JOY guest and fellow skateboarder DEV HEYRANA- you can read more below. 

3. MATH SKATEBOARDS

Sometimes you just want some new gear. And even better if it happens in your own backyard. MATH, created and owned by my favorite guy who works at PROOF LAB (whose name I sadly cannot remember at the moment) is a beautiful collection of decks and apparel that I'm kind of bananas for. 

4. FRENCH HIP HOP

I have been revisiting the joy in French Hip Hop. Hit the link above to understand why. Thanks to my friend and future JOY guest OREN HODES for his curation. 

5. THE BOBBY LEES

Holy punk rock Batman. The Bobby Lees sound they they should have taken the stage at CBGB's or Gillman Street back in the 80's. Hard, fast, raw and messy punk. If you are into that sort of thing. 

6. SKYLINE 

I'm a big fan of KHALID and all of his albums. He is one of those rare artists I can listen to for days and always find something undiscovered. His new song SKYLINE is a total dance track and it is super joy inducing. The perfect song to get you in the mood for a sunny weekend. 

7. THE POWER OF REGRET BY DANIEL PINK

I'm slowly working through this book because it it nothing short of fascinating. Pink's research connecting our deepest values to our deepest regrets is groundbreaking in how we contextualize human connection, especially connected to what work will look like in the next 20 or so years.  A perfect summer beach read for the super nerd. 

8. THINKING IN SYSTEMS BY DONELLA H. MEADOWS

Equally interesting, but full of diagrams that I am needing a second reading to make sense of, this book has become the go to model for systems thinking design. If you are in a leadership position and want to gain a deeper understanding of the complex dynamics at work in systems, this is a good book to add to your reading list. 

9. BARE HANDS

After 12 years spent weaving and working my hands into very precise positions via Zelma Rose, I haven't had the opportunity to have fingernails. And I like fingernails. I think. It's been a while. I'm trying to grow mine, which after years of abuse is going very slowly, but BARE HANDS has helped. Using their Dry Gloss Manicure Kit has become a relaxing nighttime ritual of receivership. 

10. LAUDE THE LABEL

I had the pleasure of working with LAUDE THE LABEL through my time at Zelma Rose and they are a group of brilliant women changing the fashion industry for the better. I'm a big fan of their summer collection and treated myself to a few pieces because I LOVE fashion and that is one of the ways I take care of myself and spend time in receivership and input. Check out the  LAUREL JUMPER and the GINGER SKIRT and TOP SET. 

Anything I should add to my inout practice? Let me know what you're into these days.

xxx

LAS