Wrestling with a novel steeped in loss, I’ve come to see how grief shapes the creative process, how waiting becomes wisdom, and why some projects are never truly finished.
"Creativity is a relationship. A kind of love, and love is disruptive. Don’t seek out love if you never want to change."
I pause to take that in.
I don't know about your grief. I sense you are willing to be in relationship with Grief, through your writing, your loving, and living. Blessing to that.
May you continue to let this sacred writing unfold and emerge in its own time. A dear elder friend of mine, after she lost her husband of nearly 50 years said this about grief and it's stayed with me. She's an ancestor now and her words came to me reading your post so I pass them on with love, for I have lived the truth of them myself.
What a deeply moving reflection. Morgan, thank you for sharing your elder friend’s words. “Grief is the water course way”—that lands in me with such quiet power. There’s such truth in that image, the way grief moves through us, reshaping our inner landscapes, never in a straight line but always finding its path.
I appreciate your witnessing, your words, and the blessing you offer. Yes, I am in relationship with Grief, though I’m still learning how to listen, how to be with it without resistance. Your message is a gift, and I receive it with gratitude. Thank you for passing on your friend’s wisdom—it will stay with me, too.
My basic question is how do you create when you grieve? It feels like an impossibility to me. As I feel stuck, the impetus to create does not feel like it’s there. I want to create. And it’s ain’t happening. I feel that, perhaps, in the spring there will be a de thaw. Who knows?
This is such a great question Anna and something I confront quite often in work with my clients. Time can play a factor for sure and it is difficult to be patient when it appears as though the creative process isn't moving. There are few things more frustrating. I find taking a wide focus to be informative, I guide my clients through energy work to actually interact with their creativity as energy, and I also think getting help is necessary. As creatives our process is often seen as elusive and magical. We are quick to agree that other types of work require support, training, and help. For a friend running a marathon, we would never devalue them working with a trainer, seeking group support, getting guidance form a nutritionist and seeking physical therapy. Yet as creatives we can be resistant to getting the support required to do the work we do. Many of the people I work with, their creativity has high stakes. There are deadlines, deals, and big decisions based upon what they create and how they lead. Often they do not have space to not be in an active process. This help and support of their process doesn't equate to forcing or not honoring the present, but more of a noticing of where the creative process is at and a reminder to trust that the most recent burst of inspiration will not be the last. Keep the questions coming, these contemplations are my jam :)
Thank you, Lisa, for providing such a thoughtful response. I was thinking it’s probably best to give it time. I believe creative urge will emerge in me when the time feels right. And, you pointed out something that’s important here. Some people are creatives for a living. It’s part of the work they do. So, I can imagine how working with a coach or supportive source might be essential.
It was interesting that you mentioned energy work. I’ve done various kinds of somatic work including the Continuum Process. I don’t know if you’re familiar with that modality. It includes movement, rhythm and artwork. I found it useful at the time. I’m feeling ‘stuck’ which suggests a lack of flow. So, instead of focusing on producing something (like an essay or a drawing) perhaps, I’d be better served ‘moving’. The winter weather has challenged me.
I like the comparison you made to running a marathon. Self care including diet and exercise provides us with fuel for whatever activity which choose to engage in.
Thank you again for taking the time to consider my question. There are so many great resources available on Substack. I wish you the best in your work.
Hi Anna, you hit on something really important here, which is your somatic work and what it means to be stuck. It i so helpful to understand this realm and be able to create change from within ourselves and also within our environments. Kind of like an inside/outside idea. Movement on the inside fosters movement on the outside. This foundation is crucial for all creativity. It is at the base of the pyramid of which all else rests. Great idea to lean into your practice now and let go of productivity for the moment. It will come to meet you once your foundation is in flow. If you have a cohort you study the somatic work with, or a mentor, teacher, clinician, classes etc. now would be a great time to tap back in. I like to think of this kind of work in relation to creativity like brushing our teeth. Much much easier if we do it twice a day everyday, instead of waiting - a lot gets stuck on there! We often handle resistance about this kind of work - it is effective, rather simple- and easy in relation to pushing and forcing things to happen. If you find yourself feeling resistant to diving back in, give yourself some grace. The invalidation is external, not coming from within. Just keep going. Best of luck!
"I don’t think I’ve ever worked on a project as emotionally charged as this. It sounds almost comical to say, even to myself. Over the years, I’ve created countless bodies of work, whether as a fine artist or a writer, and each has been rich with emotion. All containing an obstacle to cross. An integration to unlock. My life’s portfolio has always tapped into the truths of who I was at those moments in time. But this? This feels different. It feels bigger.
And it is."
From one Lisa to another, I could have written this exact paragraph.
Thanks Lisa. So glad this resonated. This work is both terrible and beautiful isn't it? Everything all at once. Over and over again. Life is hilarious that way :)
I love your insights into the creative process, Lisa and how it is something we, try as we might, will never truly master. There are so many barriers to overcome, be they personal, professional or just plain-old uncertainty. We won't, can't, "answer the call" on each one in time but the fact that we try is something that should never be understated.
Thanks so much Ryan. I so appreciate your contemplations. I love how you highlight the determination involved in creativity. The process is one that is often elusive, we can get to know it better though and that helps create the practice necessary to call on patience and fresh perspectives. When a work isn’t ripe can be absolutely heartbreaking and definitely requires creative stamina. And a lot of trust that someday we will bring the experience to it that ripens it.
"Creativity is a relationship. A kind of love, and love is disruptive. Don’t seek out love if you never want to change."
I pause to take that in.
I don't know about your grief. I sense you are willing to be in relationship with Grief, through your writing, your loving, and living. Blessing to that.
May you continue to let this sacred writing unfold and emerge in its own time. A dear elder friend of mine, after she lost her husband of nearly 50 years said this about grief and it's stayed with me. She's an ancestor now and her words came to me reading your post so I pass them on with love, for I have lived the truth of them myself.
"Grief is the water course way"
💞💧
What a deeply moving reflection. Morgan, thank you for sharing your elder friend’s words. “Grief is the water course way”—that lands in me with such quiet power. There’s such truth in that image, the way grief moves through us, reshaping our inner landscapes, never in a straight line but always finding its path.
I appreciate your witnessing, your words, and the blessing you offer. Yes, I am in relationship with Grief, though I’m still learning how to listen, how to be with it without resistance. Your message is a gift, and I receive it with gratitude. Thank you for passing on your friend’s wisdom—it will stay with me, too.
My basic question is how do you create when you grieve? It feels like an impossibility to me. As I feel stuck, the impetus to create does not feel like it’s there. I want to create. And it’s ain’t happening. I feel that, perhaps, in the spring there will be a de thaw. Who knows?
This is such a great question Anna and something I confront quite often in work with my clients. Time can play a factor for sure and it is difficult to be patient when it appears as though the creative process isn't moving. There are few things more frustrating. I find taking a wide focus to be informative, I guide my clients through energy work to actually interact with their creativity as energy, and I also think getting help is necessary. As creatives our process is often seen as elusive and magical. We are quick to agree that other types of work require support, training, and help. For a friend running a marathon, we would never devalue them working with a trainer, seeking group support, getting guidance form a nutritionist and seeking physical therapy. Yet as creatives we can be resistant to getting the support required to do the work we do. Many of the people I work with, their creativity has high stakes. There are deadlines, deals, and big decisions based upon what they create and how they lead. Often they do not have space to not be in an active process. This help and support of their process doesn't equate to forcing or not honoring the present, but more of a noticing of where the creative process is at and a reminder to trust that the most recent burst of inspiration will not be the last. Keep the questions coming, these contemplations are my jam :)
Thank you, Lisa, for providing such a thoughtful response. I was thinking it’s probably best to give it time. I believe creative urge will emerge in me when the time feels right. And, you pointed out something that’s important here. Some people are creatives for a living. It’s part of the work they do. So, I can imagine how working with a coach or supportive source might be essential.
It was interesting that you mentioned energy work. I’ve done various kinds of somatic work including the Continuum Process. I don’t know if you’re familiar with that modality. It includes movement, rhythm and artwork. I found it useful at the time. I’m feeling ‘stuck’ which suggests a lack of flow. So, instead of focusing on producing something (like an essay or a drawing) perhaps, I’d be better served ‘moving’. The winter weather has challenged me.
I like the comparison you made to running a marathon. Self care including diet and exercise provides us with fuel for whatever activity which choose to engage in.
Thank you again for taking the time to consider my question. There are so many great resources available on Substack. I wish you the best in your work.
Hi Anna, you hit on something really important here, which is your somatic work and what it means to be stuck. It i so helpful to understand this realm and be able to create change from within ourselves and also within our environments. Kind of like an inside/outside idea. Movement on the inside fosters movement on the outside. This foundation is crucial for all creativity. It is at the base of the pyramid of which all else rests. Great idea to lean into your practice now and let go of productivity for the moment. It will come to meet you once your foundation is in flow. If you have a cohort you study the somatic work with, or a mentor, teacher, clinician, classes etc. now would be a great time to tap back in. I like to think of this kind of work in relation to creativity like brushing our teeth. Much much easier if we do it twice a day everyday, instead of waiting - a lot gets stuck on there! We often handle resistance about this kind of work - it is effective, rather simple- and easy in relation to pushing and forcing things to happen. If you find yourself feeling resistant to diving back in, give yourself some grace. The invalidation is external, not coming from within. Just keep going. Best of luck!
"I don’t think I’ve ever worked on a project as emotionally charged as this. It sounds almost comical to say, even to myself. Over the years, I’ve created countless bodies of work, whether as a fine artist or a writer, and each has been rich with emotion. All containing an obstacle to cross. An integration to unlock. My life’s portfolio has always tapped into the truths of who I was at those moments in time. But this? This feels different. It feels bigger.
And it is."
From one Lisa to another, I could have written this exact paragraph.
Thanks Lisa. So glad this resonated. This work is both terrible and beautiful isn't it? Everything all at once. Over and over again. Life is hilarious that way :)
"The work is never wasted. Just not ripe."
What a fantastic line.
I love your insights into the creative process, Lisa and how it is something we, try as we might, will never truly master. There are so many barriers to overcome, be they personal, professional or just plain-old uncertainty. We won't, can't, "answer the call" on each one in time but the fact that we try is something that should never be understated.
Thanks so much Ryan. I so appreciate your contemplations. I love how you highlight the determination involved in creativity. The process is one that is often elusive, we can get to know it better though and that helps create the practice necessary to call on patience and fresh perspectives. When a work isn’t ripe can be absolutely heartbreaking and definitely requires creative stamina. And a lot of trust that someday we will bring the experience to it that ripens it.